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Today... smile at yourself.
This was an incredible exercise to do. I’ve never stared into my eyes for that long before. It was surprisingly easy for me to the hold the smile and feel it genuinely. At one point though, my mouth hurt from smiling and I changed to a closed mouth smile.
At first I was a bit distracted by wanting to look my best. I played with my hair a little and angled my face to what I know is my best side. Ha! Ego!
As I stared, I began to feel a distinct difference between who I really am and this body that I’m in. It was as if my body felt like some robot that’s being operated by the real me. It was a strange feeling. I understood for the first time that who you really are, and how you feel about that self; informs how your body looks. The body is a vehicle, the chariot. But the person that was looking at the body, was more than the body. I felt like one of those robots in the movie “Avatar” that were operated by people getting inside of them. There’s the robot, and then there’s the life force that animates it. Interesting.
Also as I stared at myself, I began to see different faces. It startled me at first and my thought was, “Who is that woman?” This other face kept coming back. And then I saw another face. In both of these faces, the hair was different than mine, they were two different women. I was fascinated by them.
When I first started, I felt like this was going to go on forever, but then the time passed quickly. I found myself feeling more loving to myself – which was a total surprise to me. I felt joyful doing this.
I did this for about 2-3 minutes. At first I felt a little silly, and almost annoyed that I had to do this exercise but after a while I found that I couldn’t help but start to feel good about myself. After a while, I could feel my energy calm down and relax into a very innocent vulnerable state. It was almost kind of sweet, like I was looking at a child, a child that was me.
If I were to honestly rate my self-love on a scale of 1 to 10, I would probably give myself a 6 or 7. And I feel pretty good about that because I think a couple years ago I was probably more like a 3 or 4. I feel like self-love is something you have to work on daily. Of course, some days are easier than others, but I think that’s where growth lies.